


They Say

by Karasuno Volleygays (ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dialogue Fic, M/M, No Plot/Plotless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 12:53:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6285220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor/pseuds/Karasuno%20Volleygays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto asks Akaashi for advice, and Akaashi should really be getting paid by the hour for this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Say

**Author's Note:**

> This has been lurking in my fic folder, which I've been cleaning out. I didn't remember writing it until I read it, but I thought I'd post it for the lulz.

“Akaashi?”

“Yes, Bokuto-san?”

“They say that if you stick someone’s fingers in warm water while they’re sleeping, they’ll pee themselves.”

“Charming.”

“So . . . would you ever do that to me?”

“Um . . . no?”

“Good. I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself like that.”

“And I wouldn’t want to contribute. You do enough of that on your own.”

“What does _that_ mean?”

“Never mind.”

“No, Akaashi. I really want to know.”

*sighs* “Well, if you must know, sometimes, you and Kuroo-san conduct yourselves in a manner that is counterintuitive to what one might call basic dignity.”

“Huh?”

“You both do it individually, but together, you both act like idiots.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know, Kuroo and I have our shenanigans down to a fine art. For instance, do you remember the week at camp when all of Sawamura’s underwear went missing?”

“You didn’t —”

“We did.”

“I don’t even know how to respond to that, Bokuto-san.”

“There’s no need to thank us. We’re happy to provide light-hearted amusement for all comers.”

“I think I need to sit down.”

 

 

“Akaashiiiiiii!”

“Yes, Bokuto-san?”

“How do you know you like someone?”

“You mean me personally, or just in general?”

“Both? Is there a difference?”

“Well, of course there’s a difference, Bokuto-san. I’m not everyone else, and everyone else is not me.”

“That sounds like a fortune cookie.”

“But anyway, I would say that there’s a heightened awareness of that person and things that have to do with them. Say I like Person A. Person A is on the basketball team. When I see a reference to basketball, I sport I don’t really care about, it makes me think of that person, where I would’ve skipped right over it before.”

“So, if I liked you in a totally hypothetical and not entirely in reality way, and you like to study and get good grades and I don’t, if I see a book, I’d think of you?”

“I — not . . . sort of.”

“Then I don’t understand at all!”

“Well, I can’t answer that question in all seriousness because you used me as an example. That makes it weird.”

“But they say your soulmate is supposed to feel like a best friend to you.”

“Isn’t Kuroo-san your best friend?”

“He’s my bro, but it’s different.”

“I don’t understand that logic at all, Bokuto-san.”

“Come to think of it, neither do I.”

 

 

“Akaashi?”

“What is it now, Bokuto-san? I’m trying to do my homework.”

“Is it okay to like someone who doesn’t like you back?”

“What kind of ‘like’? Friendship or romantic attraction?”

“The second one.”

“Oh.”

“Well?”

“Um, you can’t really help who you like, so it really isn’t wrong. It’s wrong if you let it ruin things for you or for that person, but having feelings doesn’t have to be harmful. It just sucks sometimes.”

“Yeah, it does.”

“Does that mean you like someone who doesn’t like you back?”

“It’s pretty lame, isn’t it?”

“Not really. Like I said, you don’t ask for it. Just remember that you’ll never know if your feelings are returned if you don’t say something.”

“Does that ever even work?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never confessed before.”

“Neither have I. But you know what they say . . . if you love someone, let them go. If they come back, it was meant to be.”

“‘They’ say a lot of things. Who is ‘they’, anyway?”

“I don’t know. You know. Just . . . people.”

“You’re taking love advice from Kuroo-san, aren’t you?”

“Have you even _seen_ how many confessions he gets?”

“That doesn’t mean what he does is right for you.”

“But there has to be something I can use?”

“Yeah. Your words. Go up to the person you like, even if you think they don’t like you back, and just say, ‘Hi, Name-kun. I’m Bokuto, and I think you’re pretty cool and I like you.’ Then it’s out there. You don’t have to stew about it or worry about what would happen if they found out. You would just know.”

“I dunno. Are you sure about this?”

“What did Kuroo-san tell you to do?”

“Hire a violinist and write poetry?”

“Yes, then I’m sure.”

 

 

“Akaashi?”

“Yes, Bokuto-san?”

“Hi, Akaashi. My name is Bokuto.”

“I know. Did you sniff too much hair gel again?”

“I think you’re pretty cool.”

“You’re pretty cool, too, Bokuto-san. And weird. What’s going on with you?”

“I, um, well . . . you know how they say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush?”

“I — I am so lost right now.”

“Ahhhh, why aren’t the words coming out right? I thought this through and came up with stuff to say so I didn’t just _say_ it, but you know what they say —”

*huffs* “You’ve been asking me for advice on a lot of really weird stuff, and I just want to make sure you know that advice is only meant to be taken loosely. For a starting point. Blindly following someone else’s instructions isn’t the way to get what you want, and it’s definitely not like you.”

“You know what? You’re right!”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“You are _so_ right! I’ve been going about this all the wrong way. I may be smooth, but my smooth comes in the form of extreme coolness and epic skills.”

“If you say so.”

“So, you know what?”

“Do I want to know?”

“Yes! Akaashi, I think you’re really great. You’re smart and funny, and you’re really cute.”

*blinks* “What did you say?”

“I like you, Akaashi. Will you accept my feelings?”

“Just so we’re clear, you just confessed to me right now. Correct?”

“Correct.”

“And you meant it in a non-hypothetical, entirely in reality kind of way, yes?”

“Did I not say so?”

“I’m just . . . I think I need to sit down.”

“That’s the third time this week. Is something wrong with your legs?”

“No, I just —”

“Or do I make you weak in the knees?”

“You are the worst.”

“Hey, now. I’m just kidding. You know you love me.”

“Of course, I do.”

“Wait, what?”

“Did I forget a word? I do that sometimes.”

“So, does that mean you like me, too?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“But you just said you loved me? How do you love me and not know if you like me? That makes no sense, Akaashi!”

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

“Really?”

“You _did_ huff your hair gel again, didn’t you!”

“You wound me. You know, they say that —”

*groans* “Don’t listen to them, Bokuto-san. Don’t you ever listen to them!”


End file.
